FW: Dr. Seuss' Technical Manual

Judy Seigel (jseigel@panix.com)
Mon, 01 Jun 1998 18:55:11 -0400 (EDT)

Inspired by Wade's example, and stung at the claim that the list has no
sense of humor (a *devastating* indictment), I forward the following:

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From: Rob Cummings
Sent: Friday, May 08, 1998 11:10 AM
To: SPAM!; Lisa Wollin
Subject: Dr. Seuss' Technical Manual

WHAT IF DR. SEUSS WROTE TECHNICAL MANUALS?

If a packet has a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double clicking icons put your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on your cable on the gable on your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of Gauss,
So your icons in your window are as wavy as a zouse,
Then you may as well reboot and go without a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the thing is gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
Then you hafta flash your memory, and you'll want to RAM your ROM,
Quickly turn off your computer and be sure to tell your mom.