Enjoy,
- Wayde
(wallen@boulder.nist.gov)
---------- Forwarded message ----------
> The Dark Sucker Theory
>
> For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light,
>but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't
>emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers.
> The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove
>that dark has mass and is heavier than light.
> First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs
>suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in.
>There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The
>larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark.
>Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck
>dark than the ones in this room.
> So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are
>full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot
>on a full Dark Sucker.
> A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick.
>You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing
>all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to
>the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because
>it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the
>disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.
> There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't
>handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage
>Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied
>or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.
> Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from
>the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating
>Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel
>into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a
>great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating
>candle.
> Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below
>the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to
>slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and
>darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This
>is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the
>lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.
> Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were
>to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly
>opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet.
>But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave
>the closet.
> Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark Sucker.