From: Randall Webb (randall.webb@lineone.net)
Date: 11/17/00-10:17:01 PM Z
----- Original Message -----
From: Judy Seigel <jseigel@panix.com>
To: <alt-photo-process-l@skyway.usask.ca>
Sent: Thursday, November 16, 2000 12:00 PM
Subject: Revocation of Independence (fwd)
>
> Dear List,
>
> Having never committed such list crimes as e-mailing 4,562 bytes to tell
> everyone "wow!," or similarly wasted bandwidth & attention, I take the
> liberty of present misdemeanor. That is, I share the following, just in:
>>
I have just had a long telephone conversation with Her Majesty (Queen
Elizabeth II) at Buckingham Palace - England.
I felt I had to tell her about the alarming events taking place in the
American colonies.
I told her that a dangerous woman in New Amsterdam by the name of Seigel is
putting out seditious and subversive literature. I know this because I have
documentary evidence supplied by a former member of the electronic mail
list. At this point she made a strange remark. She said " You know, my late
father was a king." All I could say was "Yes Ma'am". Then she said. " I
don't go to the colonies much any more, although my late daughter-in-law
used to go regularly to show off her expensive dresses and have her photo
taken. My late uncle, the Duke of Windsor and his American wife used to
enjoy New York and would persuade a number of rich citizens to pay their
hotel bills at the best hotels.
Rumour has it that they sometimes stopped off at the Bahamas to have talks
with friends of Mr. Adolf Hitler, who sadly took his own life some years
ago"
Fascinating stuff. H.M. also said that she was disturbed to find so many
people in what was supposed to be an English colony all having foreign
names - Polish, Spanish etc.
I said " What about the Seigel woman ma'am?"
She said " Don't worry. She is doing what she thinks is best. And be assured
if she comes to England I will make sure she is welcomed and not thrown into
the Tower of London."
" You are very gracious ma'am" I said. "Not like some people I know".
I said " What about Tony Blair?"
She said " Mr. Blair? Do I know him? Have we been introduced? Oh! you mean
the Prime Minister. No, we don't want him involved. As I remember they are
doing very nicely over there- especially since that nice Mr Nixon did such
good works. Or was it that nice man who played a chimpanzee in a film I once
saw?"
Her Majesty was rather sharp on the subject of alt.processes. " Why are you
wasting your time making pictures in the manner of that nice Mr. Talbot from
Wiltshire all those years ago. You should be be using a 200megabyte 500 dpi
digital camera as the Duke and I do when we go to the races every day.
On the subject of democracy she was fairly forthright. She felt that the
main weakness of demacracy was in voting. She said dictatorship was much
better- much more direct and less time consuming without all the discussion
and consultation. She regretted losing her rights to chop peoples heads off
without asking permission. She said in Europe we have perfectly good
dictators and if they screw up (her words) we take them into a back room and
shoot them in the head.
Finally I asked her what she liked most about about America.
She said that in the evening she and the Queen Mother watch videos and their
favourite one are about a lovely family by the name of Simpson.
End of despatches.
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