From: Christina Z. Anderson (zphoto@montana.net)
Date: 08/29/02-08:30:21 AM Z
Christopher,
I'm there with ya, babe. I am applying to grad school this year. Was
going to last year but got another chance to teach another year full time,
and to again teach Experimental Photography. See, (now don't think I'm
weird) I have three B.A.'s but no MFA, but I've been blessed because I've
been allowed to teach at the college level for, it will be, three years, and
in that period of time I even received, as did Darryl Baird in MI, the
Teacher of Excellence award. The greatest pleasure for me is in seeing and
knowing that the students have benefitted from my working with them--there
is a goodly increase in inspiration and creativity in the department related
to the processes I teach (about 50 of them).
So I have this really nice department with the ability to teach what I
love, and here I am applying to grad school, moving away from MT to wherever
will accept me (if any of the 6 or 8 do), AT, mind you, a non traditional
age. Why? Because I have to. I WANT to spend 2 years iron sharpening iron
with other students and teachers. If I can teach where I go, all the
better. If I can't, then I just get to spend more time and money doing my
own stuff. Do I feel conflicted about this decision, like I'm leaving a
wonderful opportunity, especially since there may be a position opening in
my dept? Absolutely. Am I doing it for a teaching job? Absolutely not.
My recommendation to you: for one, don't expect things to make sense
until after the fact. I operate on my gut, not my mind. My gut says go to
grad school. I visited about 8 schools just to feel how my body felt in
their environment. Isn't that silly? But not for me. Call it "feng shui"
or hooey, but believe me, my gut has not mislead me, but my mind has. Two,
forget applying to just the bay area. You're boxing yourself in. Three, if
you apply and get turned down, select a different set of schools and apply
again. There are wonderful photo depts all over the states! Four, if you
don't already, get ArtNews or Art in America and read it every month--it is
a great source of inspiration to springboard from. Five, keep writing long
posts at night, because when we are, on a list, willing to be real, open,
honest, and vulnerable, that is when we get our needs met.
Chris A.
> I just want to take a moment here and thank everyone who has contributed
to
> these great discussions about art, postmodernism, feminism, nudes in
> photography, etc. They have been most inspiring! In fact, I have been in
> such a rut (since about 1997 I would guess), the conversations these past
> couple of weeks have inspired ideas for a new body of work. These types of
> discussions are one reason I really miss being in academia. I miss being
> around people whose job allows them to freely think (not that I'm saying
> people who are not in academia don't think...you know what I mean... I
> hope). I have such a hard time coming up with thoughts and ideas alone
> without discussion and debate. Especially when employed in what I would
call
> an anti-art (working with computer hardware all day) totally demanding 9
to
> 6 (and then some) job that sucks the very soul out of me. It is almost
like
> I feed off other people's energy and need it to stay motivated in thought,
> which then translates in to my imagery. This very reason also at the same
> makes me feel like a phony because it seems I can't come up with ideas on
my
> own. But right now I'll take any sort of inspiration I can get, it's been
> years since I really made a body of work that I felt was mine. Instead I
> have been tinkering with processes, trying to fit ideas and work to my
needs
> (getting in to a MFA program) and generally making up excuses as to why I
> haven't been successful. Hopefully I can get my act together and actually
> get in to a MFA program in the near future so that I can once again be in
an
> environment that supports thought and not just that you show up to work on
> time and make your deadlines. I have been trying the last couple of years
to
> get in to a school, but haven't really felt confident with my portfolio
and
> I think it shows to the review committees. I keep hearing the same
response
> over and over; I have the technique, history and thoughts, just not a
> cohesiveness with the imagery in my work. In fact at one of the schools
> (will not mention the name, but it's in the bay area and Janis Joplin used
> to work there), the academic advisor thought I'd have a better chance at
> getting in to the MFA program if I entered the school's BFA program, which
> the advisor said I would have no problem getting in to. Boy that made me
> feel better and not degraded! I told him I had a BFA from Ohio State and
> that I even received the Excellence in the Arts award for my graduating
> class and this advisor just shrugged his shoulders and told me it was an
> option I could consider. Hmmm let me think...re-enter a BFA program (can I
> bring Daguerreotypes and platinum prints in to Intro to Photography 101?)
> spend $20,000 a year for 2-3 years to turn around and apply to their MFA
> program and pay another $20,000 a year for another 2-3 years. Starts to
> sound like a telemarketing scam. Funny thing is I will probably reapply
> there again this year because I don't want to leave the bay area and
really
> respect the reputation of this institution. Anyway, I guess it doesn't
help
> that I only apply to the top schools and reinvent my portfolio every year
to
> try to fit what I think "they" want. I'm starting to realize this approach
> is a tragic never-ending cycle of disappointment. Starts around this time
> every year, continues with me rushing to get those twenty images done
before
> January 15th and ends with disappointment around May. Maybe it's time to
do
> work for myself.
>
> Well enough self-pity, this was really just supposed to be a thank you
note
> for all the great conversations, which have lead to inspiration. This is
the
> last time I stay up late and post to this group, who knows what I might
say
> next time. -Chris
>
>
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