From: Christopher Lovenguth (chrisml@pacbell.net)
Date: 08/29/02-02:36:32 AM Z
I just want to take a moment here and thank everyone who has contributed to
these great discussions about art, postmodernism, feminism, nudes in
photography, etc. They have been most inspiring! In fact, I have been in
such a rut (since about 1997 I would guess), the conversations these past
couple of weeks have inspired ideas for a new body of work. These types of
discussions are one reason I really miss being in academia. I miss being
around people whose job allows them to freely think (not that I'm saying
people who are not in academia don't think...you know what I mean... I
hope). I have such a hard time coming up with thoughts and ideas alone
without discussion and debate. Especially when employed in what I would call
an anti-art (working with computer hardware all day) totally demanding 9 to
6 (and then some) job that sucks the very soul out of me. It is almost like
I feed off other people's energy and need it to stay motivated in thought,
which then translates in to my imagery. This very reason also at the same
makes me feel like a phony because it seems I can't come up with ideas on my
own. But right now I'll take any sort of inspiration I can get, it's been
years since I really made a body of work that I felt was mine. Instead I
have been tinkering with processes, trying to fit ideas and work to my needs
(getting in to a MFA program) and generally making up excuses as to why I
haven't been successful. Hopefully I can get my act together and actually
get in to a MFA program in the near future so that I can once again be in an
environment that supports thought and not just that you show up to work on
time and make your deadlines. I have been trying the last couple of years to
get in to a school, but haven't really felt confident with my portfolio and
I think it shows to the review committees. I keep hearing the same response
over and over; I have the technique, history and thoughts, just not a
cohesiveness with the imagery in my work. In fact at one of the schools
(will not mention the name, but it's in the bay area and Janis Joplin used
to work there), the academic advisor thought I'd have a better chance at
getting in to the MFA program if I entered the school's BFA program, which
the advisor said I would have no problem getting in to. Boy that made me
feel better and not degraded! I told him I had a BFA from Ohio State and
that I even received the Excellence in the Arts award for my graduating
class and this advisor just shrugged his shoulders and told me it was an
option I could consider. Hmmm let me think...re-enter a BFA program (can I
bring Daguerreotypes and platinum prints in to Intro to Photography 101?)
spend $20,000 a year for 2-3 years to turn around and apply to their MFA
program and pay another $20,000 a year for another 2-3 years. Starts to
sound like a telemarketing scam. Funny thing is I will probably reapply
there again this year because I don't want to leave the bay area and really
respect the reputation of this institution. Anyway, I guess it doesn't help
that I only apply to the top schools and reinvent my portfolio every year to
try to fit what I think "they" want. I'm starting to realize this approach
is a tragic never-ending cycle of disappointment. Starts around this time
every year, continues with me rushing to get those twenty images done before
January 15th and ends with disappointment around May. Maybe it's time to do
work for myself.
Well enough self-pity, this was really just supposed to be a thank you note
for all the great conversations, which have lead to inspiration. This is the
last time I stay up late and post to this group, who knows what I might say
next time. -Chris
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