Fibber McGee's Closet

On Thu, 10 Mar 2005, Dave Soemarko wrote:

> As for subsequent posts, we can always blame someone, but that will get
> us nowhere. We can say Mr. Ptak shouldn't have blamed someone before
> checking the facts, or that Judy shouldn't have been so angry because
> the other person was new and didn't know the history, or that Sandy
> shouldn't have added his comment, or that Bob shouldn't say... etc.
> etc., but we also know things like this are not always logical. People
> have feeling, emotion and also preference and right to opinions....

Sure, Dave, but remember that some opinions are internally, not externally
caused... i.e., don't blame me for them....

Still, I really appreciate your support (and support from offlist: "Go
Girl Go!", etc.), also your calm approach, but in your good nature you
overlook what I find shameful and a disgrace to the list -- I'm called
UGLY names by a few guys, a couple who (for internal reasons) just pile
on, and nobody, much less our "list minder," says stop, that's ugly.. In
fact he's another.

List Minder Sandy King tells me "shut your mouth"!?!? If you said that to
your bratty teenager, they'd call it bad parenting. He says it to a
colleague ? (True, only a *female* colleague.) If I said the equivalent to
him, or any of the guys, they'd have coast-to-coast coronaries. In fact
the last time someone said something like that to a GUY, if memory serves,
he was put off the list...

OK, I did call John Ptak a lurker. Not quite a compliment, but clearly a
fact (welcome to the list, John, introduce yourself -- you may have
acquired a following, tho not necessarily an elite), and, if you think of
it, exactly John's late arrival caused all the trouble. I cannot, CANNOT
believe that if he'd been here during Jewelia days he'd have batted an eye
at my mild, factual, thumbnail description.

But, alas (behavioral scientists please note) denial is the most powerful
human faculty -- when the force is on, no reality can penetrate. John
Ptak, albeit, to his credit, remaining polite, says "I CONTINUE TO HAVE NO
AMBIVALENCE ABOUT IT [my portrait of Jewelia] BEING DEROGATORY TO A PERSON
AND A GROUP OF PEOPLE. (Emphasis added.) Exactly what is derogatory is not
explained, but he still finds "the original remark offending."

OK John, you asked for it. True, some men find any reference to male sex
change "offending" (in fact I'm not so comfortable with it myself). But I
think the explanation lies more with your inner Freud than anything I
said. (I mean we're talking *castration*!) In any event, today I opened a
real closet, a 180 year-old space off our living room that makes Fibber
McGee's closet look empty. (I realize Fibber McGee's closet was from the
very long ago, but so am I.)

On top of the heap was a spiral-bound book, on the cover a rosy-cheeked
young man with white hair and mustache holds a casette titled "Pecker."
The caption says "dick head and his pecker"; the book itself is titled
"Untitled 4-part play with Artist's presentations." It's marked,"for Judy"
and signed "Jewelia Margaritta Cameroon,'99." It's a transcript of
Jewelia's performance at 1999 APIS. I'll excerpt a few lines in a
separate document -- and THEN, I DARE you to find my description anything
but neutral !

Meanwhile... Dave, are you still here? Do you remember the time, maybe
one of your first posts to the list, maybe 10 years ago... You were
writing about a generic photographer you referred to as "he." Then you
stopped and asked the list, "Do I have to say 'he or she'?" I wrote, "you
betcha," adding a short but brilliant explanation I forget now -- and all
hell broke loose. Luis Nadeau went positively ballistic. One of the
nicer things he called me (tho that was offlist, I still loved it) was
"cultural imperialist," meaning that I was trying to make the world
(including French Canadians!) follow the USA's politically correct rules.
(I wonder if they ever did...?)

OK, stay tuned for some excerpts...

best,

Judy
Received on Sat Mar 12 02:05:08 2005